![]() It might be tempting to say that men are more likely both to own and use firearms for suicide and thus more likely to kill themselves. That’s due to the way they attempt suicide: Unlike women, men tend to use guns. But men are two to four times more likely to carry it out. Women are more likely to attempt suicide, nearly twice as likely according to some research. The conclusion we can take from this is that men, by being emotionally cut off from themselves and others, are at risk. In short, the trend is for men to become even lonelier or at least more likely to live alone, factors that also influence suicide outcomes. indicates that 1 out of every 3 adults over the age of 45 now report feeling lonely, whereas only 1 out of every 5 adults reported feeling lonely 10 years ago another study in Germany finding single men more likely to report feeling lonely than single women-an increasing challenge given decreasing rates of marriage and cohabitation. Add to that the social isolation of elderly men in many parts of the world relative to women. Namely that as their bodies and virility are in decline, they feel unwanted in a world that wants and privileges young, able bodies. But many of these deaths are no doubt an indictment of how we treat older men and older people in general. Some of this may be a response to chronic pain and declining health. We also know that men over the age of 60 are those most likely to die by suicide. Many men among those feel a sense of what sociologist and masculinities expert Michael Kimmel calls “aggrieved entitlement.” Current data show that between 1 in 4 and 1 in 5 working-age men-about 20 million-aren’t working, three to four times what it was during the 1950s. They have lost employment or face a personal stress, often divorce or estrangement from their families. Suicide is far more common among white men in the U.S., the same category of men who feel the world owes them a well-paying stable job, and the respect that comes with that. Affection, sadness, or fear? No way, they say. ![]() Consistently, young men say that anger and happiness are the easiest emotions to express. In Promundo’s work with young men and young women to question and challenge harmful ideas about manhood, we use an activity we call, “Expressing my Emotions.” We ask young men which of five emotions they feel the most comfortable expressing, and which they can’t express. Quite simply, if men can’t recognize negative or troubling emotions, and can’t or don’t seek help or talk about them, we don’t know what to do when we face them. ![]() Some psychologists have called this alexithymia-the inability to connect with and communicate one’s emotions-and identified it as more prominent in males. So what gives? Being a man in the U.S., and around the world, too often means learning to suppress our emotional experience, so much so that we as men often lack even the language to express or understand our emotions. ![]()
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